Are you selfish? Do you get upset when things don’t go your way in your relationship? Do you expect your partner to hang on your every word and do whatever it takes to make you happy – even if it means forgoing his or her happiness? If you do, then you are selfish.
You may not be that extreme. You may just get mad when your way is not the right way. And you may get upset on a smaller scale when the relationship is not about you and what you want.
It doesn’t matter whether you are all about you and your needs or mostly about you and your needs – either one portrays a selfish person.
A healthy relationship has two people in it, not one. Two people with two sets of beliefs and ways of doing things. Two people who are living two separate lives but sharing a common bond between them. Maybe living under the same roof as a married couple or in a common law relationship.
Each person in the relationship is supposed to be their own person. We are all unique. We all come into this life to live our own lives, not someone else’s.
How to Stop Being Selfish in Your Relationship
So if you find that you are someone who thinks that the relationship should be about you and your feelings, needs, and desires, then you will want to start changing your perception of the relationship before you end up single!
No person is going to let someone else be self-centered for a long time. It will soon get old and become annoying and unbearable, and the once happy relationship will either end in breakup, or become extremely unhappy.
Here are a couple ways to make sure that doesn’t happen.
1. Realize That Your Partner Has Their Own Life
Once you realize that your partner has their own way of doing things, their own beliefs and habits, and their own unique perspective on the world, it becomes easier for you to allow them to be themselves while you allow yourself to be yourself.
2. Understand That Making Other People Happy Increases Your Happiness
The best way for you to feel good in life is not to get what you want all the time. It’s to create joy in this world and make other people happy. If you haven’t experienced this then you are just going to have to trust me on this one until you experience it yourself.
Strive to make your partner smile and you will feel your heart lighten a little. Do something unexpected for your partner that has nothing to do with getting what you want and you will feel as though you added some value to someone else’s life. There really is no better feeling than making someone else happy, especially when it’s your partner in life.
3. Focus on Making Yourself Happy
When you put the focus on making yourself happy then you take off the pressure of having others make you happy. In other words, they don’t need to make you happy because you do it yourself.
There is a common misconception that other people are the ones who make us happy in life. We believe that our partner should strive to make our lives the best they can. But that’s unrealistic and unfair. They have to focus on their own lives and happiness.
The only person who can make you truly happy in this life is you. It comes from the way you think about life, view things that happen, and how much action you take towards your perfect life.
Let your partner be there to share in your happiness, not create it. This is very important especially for starters.
These 3 things will allow you to see your partner and your relationship in a new light. It will allow you to stop being selfish and expecting so much out of your partner and instead focus on yourself and your own happiness. It will allow your relationship to become more balanced and happy.
Sir Godfrey Gregg