Oftentimes, when a man sees yet another bombshell on the arm of a dude who from all appearances is a complete d-bag, he is compelled to shake his fist at the sky and wonder if there is any justice in the world. “What does she see in him?” he asks in exasperation.

The proposer of this question is often a self-proclaimed “nice guy” who doesn’t understand why men of his breed so often seem to finish last while the moronic tools of the world get the girl. To him it seems that his niceness is at the root of the problem, somehow repelling women who inexplicably prefer to date jerks. But the problem is not that this man is a nice guy, but that he’s allowed niceness to travel down the slippery slope into wiener dog.

Too many men use their niceness as a cover for the fact that they’re in fact insecure. It’s this lack of confidence and swagger that kills their chances with the ladies, not their well-mannered ways. Men often set up a false dichotomy. You can either be an arrogant jack ass or a demure nice guy. But there is a middle a ground, the combination women are truly looking for: the extremely confident gentlemen. Men have gone to the extreme to drop their pants below their “ass” to attract women because they cannot express their intentions in words.

Diagnosing the problem

While men and women are outwardly quite civilized these days, imprinted on their genes are thousands of years of evolutionary experience, hard wiring from our nomadic hunter/gatherer days. Such wiring leads our genders to prefer certain things over the other. Men seek out young, big breasted, wide hipped women not simply because they’re shallow, but because a man’s inner caveman looks to these characteristics as signs that a woman can produce numerous and healthy progeny. And women look too big, strong, confident men because somewhere deep inside they seek the protection and security that characteristic once provided in primitive society. Can you spot the difference between the man and the woman choice?

So where does that leave the scrawny guy? Banging his head against the cave wall? Must he labour to become a beefcake to attract the ladies? For him, happily not. The need to be physically strong, while still very desirable to many women, is definitely not the deal-breaker it was for our ancient ancestors. Yet the female desire for strength has not dissipated; instead, it has largely shifted to a man’s inner appeal. You don’t have to be a man gorilla to win a woman’s heart, but you do have to be one supremely confident dude. And fortunately, this is within the reach of any man. so going to the gym to build up muscles to attract and keep is of no importance. Your confidence is not in how much muscle you can carry around, but how confident you are within your own skin.